Just Do It

Life is crazy. I feel like, if life were a shape, it would have an infinite number of angles and sides. As Sarayu puts it in The Shack, life is "a living fractal." Its sad how limited us humans are at understanding such things; fortunately, God is smart and has a bigger perspective.

Today as I was reading God's word, I found myself extremely unsatisfied and anxious. Not knowing why, I took a minute to reflect on my life's current focuses, and how they may be falling short. I then realized that all of these focuses fell short of satisfaction, not because they were selfish, not because I was scared, but because I have been a slave to passiveness.

I've mentioned before that I'm scared, that one of the biggest things that I battle with is fear. I now realize that I can't just shed the things that keep Jesus covered, and keep me from leaving my stoop, but I really have to fight to peal them off of me, break their legs and run as far away as I can. Just like the Israelites wanted to go back to Egypt after they were freed, I want to go back to being fearful because its easy!

I realized I'm passive because I'm lazy. Its just too much work! I'm such a baby. Shedding these things is not easy! The narrow road is hard! It doesn't seem glorious, but it is!

This past semester I realized that I knew what was right, and although I longed for change, I didn't act because it was going to be too hard. I was talking to someone about waking up for morning prayer at 6am, when they noticed the Nike hat I was wearing and pointed it out. They then told me to "Just do it." Talk about easy! And by that I mean the concept...

I realize now that I need to "Just do it." I need to be more assertive in putting God into my life and pursuing the things that will encourage me to do so. Satan is not going to allow this to be easy, and God never said it would be. Life is complicated! I don't need to understand everything, but I do need to act.

Here's my point really, fear and selfishness may be covering Jesus inside of me, but nothing is going to happen if I don't stand up against them (obvious). I recognize my shortcomings, and I apologize to God all the time for them, but I can't walk in the light until I actively get rid of them.

In the book Forgotten God, Francis Chan makes a very good point. He considers the concept of a caterpillar's conversion into a butterfly. This is similar to our conversion into a life in Christ. Christ lives inside of me; He enables me to fly, so why am I still crawling on the ground like a dirty worm? Time to fly, Mariah. Just do it.

Funny thing, one of my following thoughts on this concept was, "Ok, next time I'll really do it." Then Jesus interrupted me (with love, of course:]), and said, "No, Mariah, do it now. Start right now. Just do it."

Believe me, I tried my hardest to rationalize, but I could not find a valid reason not to start right then and there. It reminds me of that Toby Mac song, "City On Our Knees."

I trust God. I don't always understand, and I'm not always comfortable, but I DO TRUST GOD. So I'm gonna do it. He has a bigger perspective, and in my life, He sees a beautiful pattern, where I see an impossible mess. He knows what He is doing. Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." It's going to be hard, but I know He is with me. Amen.