Just Do It

Life is crazy. I feel like, if life were a shape, it would have an infinite number of angles and sides. As Sarayu puts it in The Shack, life is "a living fractal." Its sad how limited us humans are at understanding such things; fortunately, God is smart and has a bigger perspective.

Today as I was reading God's word, I found myself extremely unsatisfied and anxious. Not knowing why, I took a minute to reflect on my life's current focuses, and how they may be falling short. I then realized that all of these focuses fell short of satisfaction, not because they were selfish, not because I was scared, but because I have been a slave to passiveness.

I've mentioned before that I'm scared, that one of the biggest things that I battle with is fear. I now realize that I can't just shed the things that keep Jesus covered, and keep me from leaving my stoop, but I really have to fight to peal them off of me, break their legs and run as far away as I can. Just like the Israelites wanted to go back to Egypt after they were freed, I want to go back to being fearful because its easy!

I realized I'm passive because I'm lazy. Its just too much work! I'm such a baby. Shedding these things is not easy! The narrow road is hard! It doesn't seem glorious, but it is!

This past semester I realized that I knew what was right, and although I longed for change, I didn't act because it was going to be too hard. I was talking to someone about waking up for morning prayer at 6am, when they noticed the Nike hat I was wearing and pointed it out. They then told me to "Just do it." Talk about easy! And by that I mean the concept...

I realize now that I need to "Just do it." I need to be more assertive in putting God into my life and pursuing the things that will encourage me to do so. Satan is not going to allow this to be easy, and God never said it would be. Life is complicated! I don't need to understand everything, but I do need to act.

Here's my point really, fear and selfishness may be covering Jesus inside of me, but nothing is going to happen if I don't stand up against them (obvious). I recognize my shortcomings, and I apologize to God all the time for them, but I can't walk in the light until I actively get rid of them.

In the book Forgotten God, Francis Chan makes a very good point. He considers the concept of a caterpillar's conversion into a butterfly. This is similar to our conversion into a life in Christ. Christ lives inside of me; He enables me to fly, so why am I still crawling on the ground like a dirty worm? Time to fly, Mariah. Just do it.

Funny thing, one of my following thoughts on this concept was, "Ok, next time I'll really do it." Then Jesus interrupted me (with love, of course:]), and said, "No, Mariah, do it now. Start right now. Just do it."

Believe me, I tried my hardest to rationalize, but I could not find a valid reason not to start right then and there. It reminds me of that Toby Mac song, "City On Our Knees."

I trust God. I don't always understand, and I'm not always comfortable, but I DO TRUST GOD. So I'm gonna do it. He has a bigger perspective, and in my life, He sees a beautiful pattern, where I see an impossible mess. He knows what He is doing. Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." It's going to be hard, but I know He is with me. Amen.

Hide-and-Seek

Psalm 119:1

"Joyful are people of integrity,

who follows the instructions of the Lord."

In the very first verse, this Psalm makes it very clear that those who obey God's commands have joy. According to Dictionary.com, Joy is a deep feeling of happiness and contentment.

That's right, joy doesn't come from us winning, it comes from God winning in us. What a simple concept. Because God's commands are all made out of love and goodness for us, I do not doubt for an instant that following them would bring joy and satisfaction. However, wayyyyy easier said than done.

In Romans 7:14-15, Paul says, "So the trouble is not with the law, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. I don't really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do what I hate."

I've been a Christian for 5 good years now. I have a pretty good idea of what things I should and should not be doing. Nonetheless, self-control and courage is not something I have mastered within this time. I more often than not let temptation win without even much of a fight. "For I am alllll too human, a slave to sin!;" thanks for understanding, Paul. It's comforting that Paul recognizes this, but the fact that this verse exists does not make it ok for me to be doing things that I know are disobeying God. So this is why my joy stick is broken. These shortcomings are the batteries, powering dissonance, brokenness, and loneness.

Jesus is my foundation. He is my rock, my strong tower, and is the very center of my being. His spirit is living inside of me. LIVING INSIDE OF ME. Got that, Mariah? He is LIVING INSIDE OF YOOUUUU! Yeah, I got that. But I seem to have locked Him up in a little box, covered Him up with layers of fear and have hidden him in a cave of my own selfishness.

It seems that these two things are the biggest reasons why I have so much trouble following God's commands; fear and selfishness. Stupid fear, and stupid selfishness is what is preventing me from having the joy that is freely given to me with God's lovely commands.

I don't want God's spirit to be locked, covered, and hidden. I want His spirit to radiate out of me! Too bad right now the only thing radiating out of me is scared little Mariah... yepp, and who wants to see that?

I want God's spirit to be free inside of me. Sooooo free that I see what the Spirit sees, hear what the Spirit hears, love what It loves, think what It thinks, and DOES WHAT IT WANTS ME TO DO! That essentially every sense; touch, taste, sight, smell, and hear will be done by the Spirit. Now I don't know what it would be like to smell through the Spirit, but I bet its glorious.

So when we let the Spirit that lives inside of us go free, and follow Gods commands, that's when we truly shine and receive joy. We need to get rid of anything that is preventing us from following His commands. Anything that is locking, covering and hiding Jesus from coming out of us needs to be sacrificed and replaced with our savior.

For me, its fear and selfishness. I need to lay down my Mariah-centered mentality, and look through the eyes of love instead of my own. Then, when I'm stripped of myself, humble, God-fearing, and broken, I will finally follow His commands and receive the joy that follows. Danngggg,, that's gonna be hard.

Ohh, Lordyy, thank you for your wonderful commands. "You made me; you created me. Now give me the sense to follow our commands. (Psalm 119:73)" I want you to come out of the hiding place that I have put you in.  Then I will find joy. Help me to be strong and courages, and lay myself down at your feet. I want to lose so that you will win. Amen.

Mariah the Israelite

When you walk into Church, and you're preparing to start worship, do you ever get the feeling that its like you are about to see a friend you hadn't seen in a while? Almost like that awkward, ashamed, I'm sorry I didn't keep in touch, don't know what to say or feel kinda feeling....

It seems like every Sunday I get hit sooooo hard with conviction; like each sermon was meant just for me and what I've been going through lately. I leave thinking I have a new outlook, a new passion, and new energy to live for Christ. Then, all the sudden it's Sunday again, and I'm just comin to see Jesus, that old friend of mine once again.

WHAT THE HECK?! Whyyyyy do I keep doing this? I feel like an Israelite... they took forty years to take an 11 day walk. Around, and around, and around, and around. Seriously?!??! How many times is God going to ask me to sacrifice myself before I actually do it?

Here's me right now, Mariah the Israelite. This is the typical week, starting with Sunday:

"Yayyy, Jesusssss. Ouu, squirrel (distraction). Wow, Sunday again? Oh yeahh... Jesus, my old friend who I completely forgot about all week. Oh, crap."

Everryyyy weekkkuuhhhhhhh. GAH! It seems like satan is just getting me to waste time. I swear God asks me to sacrifice myself at least once a week. My latest excuse has been... "Well I don't now how to sacrifice myself. So, God is gonna have to tell me what I need to do." pfftt.. as if he didn't already give me a book of instruction. Not to mention the fact that if I'm too busy lookin at the squirrels, God's prolly not gonna get through. Whyyyy, oh God, am I so dumb?

So today, for the millionth time, I walked into Church feeling as though I had ignored my best friend alllll week. And now I was going to have to face Him. Shamefully, I worshiped and prayed, trying my best to give Him the fresh bread He deserves.

Now I've done this for the last time. No more will I walk into Church feeling like I hardly know my savior. I never, ever want to feel ashamed because I got distracted. I don't have this time to waste! God wants to get me to the promise land... there is milk and honey waiting for me! Why am I still looking at the squirrels?! GAH!

So here's the plan. Intimacy first. Bible study is all good, but a true closeness with God takes more than just reading the word. You have to listen with your spirit and get on your face and lay everything down at His feet. Not just on Sundays, but everyday, all the time. If I do this once a day, coming back to Him won't feel so awkward. Yeah, I'll prolly still get distracted... and its gonna be really hard. But in these moments of intimacy, God will be able to show me who He is and who He wants me to be.

God shows up every week and speaks directly to my heart. He tells me how much He loves me all the time. Hes always faithful and always sooo lovely. It's time for me to do the same for Him. I want to be able to touch His face while I worship and hold His hand throughout the day. I want to turn every single blessing back to praise. The closer I come to Him, the closer He comes to me.

The more I seek you,

the more I find you.

The more I find you,

the more I loooooooooveeeee youuu.

I wanna sit at your feet,

drink from the cup in your hand,

lay back against you and breathe;

feel your heart beat.

You love is so deep.

It's more than I can take,

I melt in your peace..

Its overwhelming to me.

God, help me not to be a stupid Israelite anymore. I want to reach the promise land. Please help me to lay down all of my other lovers and put an intimate relationship with you before anything else, ever. I want to lay everything down at your feet, everyday. I don't want to be distracted anymore. I want to be with You. I want you to have your way in me. You are my God, my Savior, my best friend, my Daddy and so much more. Help me to remember that every single day. I love you. Amen.

Stoop-Kid's Afraid to Leave His Stoop

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zE0IzAsIVWk&feature=related

"Stoop kid's afraid to leave his stoop! Stoop kid's afraid to leave his stoop!"

Mariah is afraid to leave her stoop! The church is afraid to leave its stoop!

What the heck was I dreaming about when I woke up Sunday morning chanting this? Stuck in my head, but it gave me quite the revelation...

Seriously, am I just a scaredy pants? Am I Stoop Kid, scared to leave my comforts, to step out, to be judged, to get things taken from me, and scared to fail? Am I just a scared little Christian girl, who is too scared to trust God and to leave the stoop of my own selfishness?

So what if, like Stoop Kid, I was limiting myself to my stoop, and keeping myself from seeing this whole world of LOVE that God has created? Would I step off?

In the video, Arnold hears Stoop Kid's cries (like God hears ours). Then he proceeds to show Stoop Kid what things are beyond his stoop (like God wants to do for us). Thennnnn Arnold encourages Stoop Kid to leave the stoop and experience the world (which God also does). ANDDD THENNNN Arnold never gives up on Stoop Kid, keeps his faith, and never leaves his side (hmm... kinda like God).

Joshua 1 says "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

So Mariah, ya know... theres a whole world out there beyond your stoop... If you can just get beyond your self, and step into the world of love, and put yourself out there so people can see Jesus, theres wayyyyy more glorious stoops for you too see. Remember 2 Timothy 1:7, "For God did not give us the spirit of fear and timidity, but of POWER and LOVE and SELF-CONTROL." SO SIT ON THAT STOOP, FEAR!

Alright, Lordy. So hold my hand and lead me off of this stupid stoop! Help me to know what you are always there, and that you know what is good for me. And even though it's painful, and scary and I don't waaannnnnaaa, please continue to encourage me that its okay, and that the world is beautiful beyond my little selfish stoop. I don't want to be like Stoop Kid, I want to be the person you created me to be, with power and love and without fear and selfishness.

And Church, you too! Don't let the world get this impression of you, that you are just some scary, selfish Stoop kid, who just wants to judge people, sucker them in and make them all drink the Kool-aid. Step off your stoop and pour out your love. Yeah, its scary, but Daddy's won't let ya down. Dont let Jarold (or in this analogy, the world), get the wrong impression, get off your stupid, comfortable, safe stoop, and tell the world for realz.

Daddy, where does understanding come from??

“Yeah… I know Jesus died for me. I’ve heard it a million times. Now go away.”

Why do we work so hard to share Christ when people tell us they have already heard it? And if they have already heard it, then why aren’t they living for Him?

The Bible says, "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free" (John 8:32).

Ok, so if the Bible says it will set you free, then why isn’t it setting people free???

Becauuuuusseeeeee, the truth won't set you free if you don’t understand it. Example!!! A key is a useless object to one who doesn't know how to open a lock. Like a key, the truth will do nothing without the understanding behind it.

I think it's safe to assume that a majority of the people in the United States have heard of Jesus in one way or another and have already decided to either live for Him or for themselves. But if you truly understand what Jesus did for you, could you really not make the choice to live for Him??? Hardly.

Honestly, if you know what Jesus did for you, then why the heck aren't you living for Him??? There must be some sort of miscommunication here... Our commission is to tell the world about Jesus and make disciples of the nations… but what do we do we if they have already heard and still aren’t movin? I guess our commission is more than just giving people the truth. It’s helping them understand the truth.

Ughh… that sounds hard. How do we do that?

Understanding comes from asking, listening, learning, loving and trusting the Holy Spirit.

Understanding comes from asking. "What do you know about Jesus?" Listening and learning what they know about Jesus helps us get an idea where their understanding falls short. Understanding doesn't come from throwing answers at people, it comes from learning why they believe what they believe, then giving them some truth, building on what they already know, and filling in gaps. This might be a long process, so get yourself a big cup of patience and get comfy.

Also, understanding comes from looking beyond actions into the intentions. If we can look at why people do the things they do, with a little wisdom, we can make the proper response. Assuming that everyone sins for the same reason is common, but silly. If someone drinks because they are bored... easy! give 'em a TobyMac CD. But how would we know they were bored if we assumed something else and didn’t even ask? Assuming blocks understanding. How do we know what to do without first understanding the situation?

Soooooo, if we want someone to understand, then we need to first understand why they don’t understand and then we can help them understand what they don’t understand. And then once they understand, then the Holy Spirit will convict them, help them to believe and then hopefully they will live for Jesus:] Understand?

Understanding comes from understanding. Understanding lets truth set us free.

Thank you, God for being the truth that sets us free. Help us to understand better so we can help others understand better. Help us to be teachers and tutors of your truth and lead people into your loving arms of freedom. Help us to listen to and love others just like you do. Amen.

Roots!

Roots serve as the the essential foundation, the basic core; they are the support and the origin of a plant. Metaphorically speaking, spiritual roots are the foundations of our faith. Where they are rooted, how deep our roots are and the extent of the roots determine the origin, strength and the expanse of our faith. This seems to be quite the theme in the life of Mariah lately.

One night while reading Ephesians I ran into a verse that really struck my heart. Ephesians 3: 17, "And I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts as you trust in Him. May your roots go down deep into the soil of God's marvelous love." Goodness me, what a line! Paul is the man! By planting ourselves in Christ and establishing our roots in Him, He becomes our center; our foundation and our support. Because we are so weak as humans we need a strong foundation. God, being so awesome, provides that for us. He offers us His "soil of love" so that we can plant our roots and faith in Him, and not be shaken.

"Blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by heat or worried by long months of drought, and they go right on producing delicious fruit." Jeremiah 17:7-8. Recently, based on this passage, the Sunday school group at my church chose to refer themselves as "Roots." Both as a group and individually (speaking for everyone, hopefully accurately), we have rooted our hope and confidence in God, making him the essential foundation of our hearts and the ministry.

The BASIC Club at JCC has just started an unofficial series of discussions that we have agreed to call "The Roots of Faith." Considering the previous definitions of 'roots,' the title is self explanatory. We all agree that although we have already established ourselves in Christ, that it is important to recall and meditate on the origin of our faith and why it is there. Having a confirmed understanding of exactly what it means to be a Christian will help us to confidently share our faith and will ultimately deepen our 'roots' in Christ.

Also throughout this week I have been thinking a lot about the testimony (see previous post). The testimony reveals what God has done in one's life, and exposes the roots of that believer. A testimony is another way of showing somebody how, why and where you have established your 'roots,' and can help them to establish theirs as well.

Often people use the term 'roots' to refer to where they grew up. In this case, fortunately but unfortunately I have to claim Belmont as my 'roots.' Its unavoidable! I live in Belmont, grew up in Belmont, went to school in Belmont, currently work in Belmont, and buried my grandparents in Belmont. Belmont is inevitably one of Mariah's roots. After whining to God about wanting something new, I was convicted, and God gave me a heart for this poor, potentially hopeless town, that just so happens to be part of my foundation.

Roots, roots, roots, roots, roots, roots, roots. Alllllllll week long, rootskis, Rooty McRootytons. Finally, I think I get it. God wants me to establish my roots in Him and help others to do the same. Der, out of 5 years of being a Christian you would think I would have this down by now. God knows me too well, praise Him, and may your roots find themselves deeply and strongly fixed in "God's soil of love."

Testimony

What does an effectively used testimony look like? What does it sound like? What the heck is it used for? Struggle, struggle, struggle. Revelation! God uses testimonies for several different reasons, on several different occasions. Durr.

Testimonies are like meeting someone's parents. Sometimes when you talk to somebody you think "Where did this person come from?" annnd then you meet their parents:] Testimonies have the same effect. How better to know someone then to know how they fell in love with their savior?

Bill Johnson writes about the power of the testimony in this book, "Release the Power of Jesus." He says that testimonies build faith in others. He then gives millions of examples. I believe him. I guess for some reason people see themselves in other people /shrug. If my testimony can inspire someone's faith, then praise the Lord!

Plus, with all of the crazy lovely things that God does, how can people not share?! Acts 4:20 says, "For we cannot but speak of the things we have seen and heard." Yay:]] So let's talk about Him and the awesome things He has done in our lives.

Bahh

Hey Guys,

Look at meee, first postski:]] Woo!